LET’S TALK ABOUT CHILDREN. EPISODE 1 – KNOWING OUR CHILDREN

 

INTRODUCTION

In very busy and difficult economic times as the 21^st century, the possibility of parents losing sight on the proper growth and development of our children is very high. Children are peculiar and special gifts from God to us for various unique purposes. Scripture says children are a heritage from The Lord, a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court, according to Psalm 127:3-5.

This tells us that God is highly interested in the welfare of the children He entrusts in the care of parents from the very day they conceive them to their maturity and even beyond, with their consistent guidance in wisdom, even after they leave our shelters. Just as it has been clearly written in Proverbs 22:6, that we should train our children in the way they should go and that when they are old, they will not depart from it, clearly, parents are surely going to render accounts to God for the lives of each of their children on how they raised each of them. I believe you sure know this but might have not given it thought on an everyday basis in your decisions concerning them. I hope and pray it takes a different turn from today. God bless you.

We are about to look exactly at what we need to do to enhance our parenting so as to ensure that our children grow to become Christlike responsible adults living their lives to God’s glory and impacting our societies positively. My prayer is that by the end of this episode, each parent, guardian and prospective parent would have identified an area or two in their parenting that must be given more attention or take an entirely different approach.

There are three sub-topics we will be pondering over in this set of readings, namely;

A)     PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP (KNOWING YOUR CHILD)

B)     INTENTIONALLY INVESTING IN OUR CHILDREN (CHRISTIAN VALUES, GOOD CHARACTER TRAITS, FINANCIAL & OTHER RESOURCES)

 

C)      CARING FOR CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS

 

D)     REBUILDING A BROKEN CHILD

 

E)      CHILDREN AND INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY

Let’s get started with the first the very first nugget:

A)     PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP (KNOWING YOUR CHILD)

1. How well do we know our wards, not they all together, but individually?

2.  Do we have planned times we sit with our wards for general conversations that concerns them directly?

3.  How easy is it for your children to approach you on anything bothering them?

One of the bitter truths we fail to realize and accept is the fact that we live with personalities we hardly know but we do refer to them as our children. In many discussions among parents, you hear them making wild claims on how well they know their wards so much that they can determine what exactly they like and dislike. Many times, when their children hear these, they scoff, only that it’s in their minds.

On this perceived knowledge, parents go ahead to take major decisions about their growing children only for some these outcomes to emerge failed or not fit for purpose, and many times, these innocent children are again blamed for these errors. The child is always the vulnerable one – and I tell you God is their defender and He defends them in ways you never notice, but if you introspect, you will realize this. 

Many parents do often lose track of the growth of the recently 3 months old baby who has now been exposed to lots of information and probably have become more read than the parent on a given subject. In some scenarios, parents can live together with their wards under one roof but spend less than one third of the day with the child, resulting in the poor knowledge of precisely what the child is made up of and can do. Some actually live like roommates and housemates. This is unfortunate.

These and many other soon to be expounded items are the reasons for this article.

How well do you know your child?

Don’t be quick to say a big emphatic ‘Yes! I know them so well’. Be patient. Each child beyond his or her name has a personality that is unique from all other people even if they are identical twins.

A personality is the compendium of several physical, psychological and emotional and above all, spiritual traits that sums up to define who a person really is.

These itemized blocs are not as simple as they appear in wording but are an embodiment of other minor strands of a real identification of a human being. The easiest to gather about your ward is his or her physical build up, sometimes with the aid of physician to identify a few interpretations as to why they look the way they appear. The other three are the most complex to find and this demands intentional, gradual but consistent effort by the parents to arrive at the ever-dynamic personality of each child.

Surprisingly and shocking enough, many children also do not really know their parents. Yes, they don’t know you, don’t be alarmed. I do not talk about children who were raised by guardians with their parents absent, I talk of those who have lived with their parents for the past 15 to 20 years. If you doubt, take a pop quiz on one of your own after reading this. Parents we have to fix this! And now is the time.

SOME TRIVIAL BUT HIGHLY TREASURED KEYS TO THE HEART OF CHILDREN (12 YEARS AND BELOW)

1. Favorite color
2. Favorite cartoon/movie character
3. Best friend
4. Favorite song
5. Most desired pet

CRUCIAL TRAITS OF A PERSONALITY

1. Temperament
2. Social interest
3. Academic inkling
4. Love language
5. Means of venting displeasure
6. Indicators of their joy
7. Basic body language
8. Greatest fear
9. Their gender preference
10. Favorite natural element

These are just to mention a few, I don’t want to bother you with the data of how many parents are losing their wards to technology, the internet and other unnamed entities. Mom and Dad, single Mom, single Dad and guardian please let’s start studying our children like an academic course with the objective of creating a real home for them, from whence they shall go forth and flourish fulfilling their full potential to God's Glory and to your joy. Please watch out for Episode 2 as we explore other areas that matter to raising excellent children. God bless your home and make it flourish in the Peace of Elohim!  

Paul Anang Amasah

amasahpaulanang@gmail.com

5th February, 2023.